Foot Fetish

I have heinous feet and toes. I would be willing to bet you do too. I think that shoe salesman job during college scarred me permanently because I can no longer look at them. Some resemble meat hooks; others resemble long piano-like fingers. Some are stubby and others bring to mind little pigs in a blanket. Few things on Earth make me as ill as looking at a woman’s feet and toes as she enters the train. For some unknown reason after the month of May, women are required to wear sandals, flip-flops, and open-toed shoes. They are unseemly! Don’t get me wrong; there are some nice feet in the world but they don’t travel the subways in Gotham. Most of them are so disgusting that you get ill when you look at those little aliens hanging over the side of the shoe touching the filthy ground, but like a car crash I cannot divert my eyes. I’m getting nauseated just thinking about it. My gag reflex would appreciate it if autumn would hurry along and cover those mutants in boots.