Hurry Up

Dear Mother Nature,
You heartless wench. I know you're beyond menopause, but it would be great if you could kick your slow ass into high gear and rotate yourself on your axis around the sun. It's only the second week of January and I'm no longer willing to play the "prisoner" to my UES "jail." Winter is a transvestite hooker waiting on the L subway platform cleverly plotting to give me gonorrhea. I'm sick of seeing it.

K.Thx.Bye.
S.A.