Thursday, January 22, 2009

RLS Audition

I think you can tell a lot about compatibility based on the way two people share a bed. If that's the case, the God's completely understand my fate and mock me every time I sleep with another (not a euphemism for coitus). Sleeping with me is like involuntarily auditioning for a role in one of those Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) medication commercials that conveniently airs during Larry King Live. You see the commercial and think to yourself: that RLS can't be considered a real disease, nobody really dances the salsa unconsciously at night, in bed while on their back - counting sheep. WRONG! I do. Perhaps it's attributed to the fact that I really don't devote a full night to sleep due to the noise emitted from First Avenue or the ongoing stresses of life on Wall Street, or a countless array of other problems that plague my mind on a regular basis. Whatever the case may be, I do somersaults spanning the entire length of my bed at night. I'm destined to be alone, and this is completely unrelated to any undiagnosed emotional issues that I may or may not have.

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