His & Hers

So you've watched Ryan Seacrest usher in the New Year, vowed to never smoke again, committed to your new gym routine, and this will be the year that you convince someone of the opposite (or same) sex that it was your ex that was all sorts of Tom Cruise crazy. Do yourself a favor and heed the S.A.'s advice.

Girls: No guy ever slept with you because you had a Chanel bag. He would actually prefer if you had a knock-off from Canal Street because then he wouldn't think you were such a money grubbing wench. He spends enough money on beer at the bar and he isn't ready to make contributions to your purse and shoe collection. At least have the decency to lie to him and tell him it's fake.

Guys: She is not impressed that you have the high score in Dungeons & Dragons, or that you logged more hours playing PS3 than you did sleeping last year. She really isn't stoked that you dominated your fantasy football league. Her thought is, if you want to play with yourself then enjoy playing with yourself because you seem to be good at it.